I think today was something you could call a "bad day". Too much things felt out of place and for some reason, everything made me think about last year. (For the context, school has started recently and last year, 10th grade was like one of the best I ever had if not the best)
My mind kept going back about how last year was so great and how I couldn't see my friends from my old class as often as before.
I realized 2 things:
1: life is all about finding your balance. It is true in friendships, time, food, anything. For me, for now it's human relations. I was always in search of new friends, other friends, better friends, and at some point it felt like I would never really be "satisfied" of what I had, it felt like there were no one out there for me , really.. And I felt and still feel really ungrateful because some people have no one and that's not my case, I have good friends , actually but they are not close enough and I have a feeling they can't be.
I mean, that was before last year. I actually found people who I feel right with and words can't express how much love and affection and love and gratefulness and love I feel towards them. And for the first time, I am holding on to these friendship again, at the point where I think loosing them would be like loosing everything. But it shouldn't be.
Because that doesn't mean the friends I had before were fake friends or that I don't love them. It just means people (including -me-) need diversity to flourish. Every person is different, which makes every friendship different. Some people you don't need to talk everyday, but you know you can count on them anytime, because your connection is stronger than that. Some people you'll talk to everyday , but still you know they are not your closest friends
And that's okay
And thats the hard thing I had and still have to learn: things will change, it will be different. But different doesn't necessarily mean less good. It doesn't even mean better. It's just different.
And yea, I learnt from someone that we shoudn't be sad that things come to an end, but we should be happy they happened. he told me that so many times that he would probably recognize himself if he cared enough to read this. But I don't think anyone cares. Anyways. It's easier said than done but trying is worth it, I guess.
I guess I'll also try and wander through the world of different friendships until I find my people (again)
Oh yea ad the second thing, I guess
2:happiness tips
-always have some sweets in your locker
- a bad outfit can make your day 54 % worse
"tomorrow is a different day" -Avril Lavigne
take care! <3
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